Finding Your Tribe

As some of my readers know, I recently lost a friend of decades. However, I am no longer mourning the death of that relationship. In fact in many ways I am grateful it is finally over considering the relationship was somewhat toxic and she was not a very good friend. But sometimes it is hard to realize those things in the moment. I still care for her as a human and want the best for her. But I also want the best for me.

I want to be surrounded by people who truly care for me and want me to succeed in life and be happy. And I deserve to have real meaningful friendships that do not suck energy from me, but rather energize me. And so do you. Everyone does.

It is important to find friends who understand your goals in life and respect not only the person you are, but the person you want to be. Your friends should help you achieve your goals not hold you back or encourage you to deviate from intentions. We will all meet toxic people in life and that’s okay. Toxic people will teach us about ourselves and how we handle life. But we must not allow those toxic people to consume us with their negative behaviors. We must remember to be strong and pull away once we recognize they aren’t good for us anymore.

And trust me, I know letting go of people is difficult even when you know they aren’t good for you. You care about them. You’ve put so much time into your relationship and you’ve grown to love this person, but if they do not love you back there is truly no point in keeping them around. It has taken time for me to come to terms with this. I am angry because I tried so hard for so many years to be a good friend and it all fell apart and seems incredibly worthless. I felt worthless. However, I am not worthless and hanging onto that angry will only harm myself.

I am choosing to cultivate healthy, strong relationships in my life. I am choosing my friends wisely based on life goals and positive energy. I am no longer looking to fix or change anyone, because people can only change themselves. I have had much less drama in my life since letting go of toxic people. My energy is better and I am much less stressed. I hope sharing this experience encourages others to re-evaluate the relationships in their lives. Make sure the energy you are putting into a person, is equal to the amount of energy they put into you.